St. Philomena

A beautiful statue arrived yesterday, on the Feast of St. Philomena. It is a statue of this saint whose life is pieced together from some words and symbols inscribed on her tomb which was uncovered in 1802 and by study of the relics. Also, there have been miracles galore which have assisted in the unfolding. She was a young girl of 12 or 13 who lived in Rome and was martyred there in the 3rd century. The bulk of her remains are in a reliquary in a church outside Naples, Italy. St. John Vianney had great respect for this little saint who gave her young life for the Faith, and Ven. Pauline Jaricot, when miraculously healed through St. Philomena's intercessions, gave St. John Vianney a bone-relic of the little saint--a gift which had been given to Pauline.

I am quite touched by Philomena's sacrifice and anonymity. There has been confusion in the past 40 years because the Church removed her from the rota of saint feast days. People thus assumed that she is not credible, but it only meant that, as happens from time to time, some saints' feast days are not celebrated, making way for others. A book by TAN Publishers is an excellent source if you want to read about St. Philomena. Another is available by Our Sunday Visitor.

The statue of St. Philomena, now blessed, stands beside a larger statue of St. John Vianney. In my mind and heart I think St. John Vianney is very pleased. Yesterday was her feast day, and it also is the feast day of St. Clare (very famous in connection with St. Francis of Assisi and her own Poor Clare nuns) and the feast day of St. Susanna--another whose feast day is no longer actively celebrated but a credible saint all the same.

Last night I finished praying a novena (nine-day prayer) asking St. Philomena to add her holy prayers for a new heart for a man needing a transplant, for the needs of an infant whose skull may not be growing properly, and for healing of any kind for those for whom I suffer--even those who I don't know. I'm sure she has helped with her prayers from Heaven. It is so much fun praying with another who has lived, died, and gone to be with the "great cloud of witnesses."

The reading of The Ascent of Mount Carmel inches forward. Now St. John of the Cross explains how important it is to empty the memory--to be free of so many images, thoughts, words, and reminders which hinder the soul from being free for God Who cannot be imagined. I realize how far I am from this state of union which I desire. Yes, we people are trained on images, and God uses this facet of how He created us in order to lead us by means we are so used to. Yet, there comes a time when it is good to take meat, as St. Paul puts it. While St. John of the Cross explains all this and the reasons why to progress through the various levels, I haven't yet comprehended just exactly how to do this. Maybe it is through prayer, much prayer, and simple effort in training the will to discard images, or at least to not dwell on them when they occur. Even the images and signs that seem to come directly, infused by God, are to be dismissed because dwelling on them can lead to vain glory, miscomprehension (since no one can truly comprehend God), or delusion (the devil can be so tricky and a spiritual director so helpful in discerning whether or not an image or sign is from God).

The pilgrim who writes of his search for union with God in the classic on prayer, The Way of the Pilgrim, is taught the Jesus Prayer as a means to going through the stages St. John of the Cross describes. St. Padre Pio prayed the rosary constantly--until it became part of his breath, his life, his heart, as the rosary is the Gospel in essence. One time I had a deep understanding that I must "pray the rosary from the heart." I think I now know more what this means, as a result of reading how the pilgrim learned to pray the Jesus Prayer. All this takes human discipline, effort, desire, and practice. Quiet and time are necessary, too.

Some answers are coming regarding St. Meinrad and spiritual direction and perhaps my life work--the work or mission for which I have been seeking God's will. It looks as if going to St. Meinrad is not the path of greater suffering, nor a practical path since it involves an expense in classes and degree which are unlikely to be useful other than my own interest. My own interest isn't good enough, since it is a selfish interest. What is more difficult is for me to study and learn from what I already have purchased in excellent classics on the spiritual life, the Church, Scripture, and moral and ascetical (mystical) theology. The beauty and tranquility of St. Meinrad is a true sacrifice, which is good since I offer it to Jesus in reparation to His Sacred Heart. The few classes that piqued my interest I offer, also, in sacrifice; and I pray for the discipline to read and meditate on the Scriptures, as it was Scripture classes which intrigued.

In spiritual direction, I will go forth in the darkness of faith with the priest whom God has given me. Spiritual direction is an eerie experience, somewhat. The element of faith must undergird the process, and to this we have so many examples of great and holy souls who have already trod the path of spiritual direction, in faith, and have been elevated to Heaven. There are basic rules of faith and practice in being guided by a spiritual director. I won't go into them here, but obedience is foundational. I went through a period of discernment and prayer about the process and the director, which I think is permissable and beneficial. Spiritual directors aren't "forever"; sometimes Jesus provides a new director if the other is called to move on or feels he can no longer take the soul in his charge, further. This is not the case now, with my situation.

As for my life work, since one of the reasons I was sent back from death 18 years ago has been accomplished (to rear my children), I am coming into the writing I have always loved to do, and it is focusing on my vocation as a victim soul. I didn't expect I'd be using computer technology, as I'm not adept in this mode, but I am learning. God provides. The writing for Victim Souls of the Sacred Heart requires not only the actual writing but more so, the praying and being open to whatever God may bring, day by day, into the process. This just may be my apostolate: the Victim Souls of the Sacred Heart. I can't imagine I'd ever run out of fuel, as suffering is for everyone and is taught and led by Jesus Himself.

Today at Mass the Old Testament reading was from Joshua. Joshua expressed gratitude for all God has provided for the Israelites. Today I express gratitude for all that Jesus is allowing in my life, in the life of my family and friends and all those for whom I suffer, even those I don't know.