Exercises in Humility: Days Eight, Nine, Ten

Day Eight: My Nothingness. "I am less a being than an ephemeral, fugitive thing, comparable to a note of music emitted by an instrument in the hands of an artist. God is not enriched by the fact that He is the Creator, nor is He diminished by the fact that I exist."

Humility is more than a conviction. It is an active virtue. We must tend to practical humliity by comprehending our nothingness of being and our nothingness of action.

"Our Lord said to St. Catherine of Siena: 'Do you know, daughter, who I am? I am He who is; you are she who is not.'"

"One day I appeared on the earth. Centuries preceded me; doubtless centuries will come after me. In this space of time, I fill a few brief and hasty hours. The silence will close over me, as deep water engulfs the stone which for a moment rippled its surface. In the light of pure truth, what would be sen in me, in the matter of my body as in the substance of my soul, would be a nothingness, sustasined at every point by creative power."

Our actions are of the same nature as our being. Although it seems as if all our activity is ours alone, it is not, for we act but do not see the power which causes us to act. Body movements, ideas, solutions, love--everything that is positive in these actions are produced more by the action of God than by us. "God, who can do all things, cannot give me the power to perform, apart from Him, a positive act: such an act would make me a creator."

Even our resolution to be humble, which seems to be ours to make, God acts in this more than we. Our portion is in submitting to His influence which urges us to be humble. Even in seeking behind the submission itself, we find God. God accompanies us all the way in all things, up to the point in which we leave the straight path and withdraw from His influence. Only evil is a weakness for which we are responsible.

Thus, how ridiculous is any pleasure we take in our qualities, or in the strength of "our" wills, or in attributing to ourselves the good of what may be accomplished. We deceive ourselves easily.

"O Lord...have pity on me; open my eyes; show Your infinity to my nothingness, for I am ashamed of my past pride. Thus shall I find peace both in success and failure; why should I be moved? Thus shall I require that wisdom which sees things in their true light, and in their right proportions. I will see myself wrapped round in Infinity; I will leave aside my pride and cry: 'My God and my All!'"

Day Nine: Necessity of Grace. "If I am nothing in the order of nature, what am I in the order of grace? Grace is not owed to me; when it is given to me, it never becomes part of my substance; it remains a divine garment, of which I may be stripped at any moment."

"Grace is not merely a complement of strength, though many Christians think so; it is the first principle of every supernatural act, even of acts that long habit or personal attraction make very easy....My spiritual life remains essentially a dependent life, because it participates in the very life of God, and God alone can exercise it."

This condition accompanies us into eternity where God will remain, as in the natural order here, the source of our actions.

Necessity of Natural Grace in General. "In the supernatural order, man's incapacity is absolute. Actual grace is indispensable to him for the simplest as for the most difficult act."

We can consider the most holy person preserved in baptismal innocence, full of merits, fervor, virtues and capable of heroism. Yet without immediate actual grace, he is not in a state to even pronounce the holy name of Jesus. "'The best formed eye,' says St. Augustine, 'can see nothing without the help of light; the most holy man cannot do good without the divine help of the eternal light of grace.'"

Necessity of Preventive Grace. Like a harp that can produce melodies only by the effect of the harpist's hands, the soul can only vibrate through grace. At the source of all its acts is preventive grace--a grace that provides thought, desire, awakening of activity and summons up the will.

In this will, where the act is determined, actual grace is found and without depriving the will of its human liberty. "I will, and God wils with me, and more than me." Like the harp string, the just soul, touched by grace, begins to perform a supernatural act when plucked by God. The intensity of the act cannot exceed the impulse given by God, through grace.

What is our part? We co-operate, lend ourselves, and adopt the impulse received. "Fundamentally, it is a nothing with which God does something."

Necessity of Concomitant Grace. Unlike the harp string that continues to vibrate, the soul does not continue its movement in a supernatural act unless grace accompanies it, concomitant grace. If we are in process of an act of love of God and our lips about to complete the act, if grace is withheld, the formula for the act might continue but it would be meaningless.

Is it true, then, that we cannot attribute to ourselves nothing at all--not even an act of the will or a desire? No, nothing. St. Paul has said, "Not I, but the grace of God with me."

"I receive from God even what I do freely,a nd the means by which I do it freely....If it is true that I am a created being, it is rigorously true that I remain a being which bears nothingness in its activities as in its essence."

It is amazing that, in these truths, we can still feel pride. All the more we must recognize the injustice of this vice and see that at the base of every act and all virtue there must be humility. "Its necessity is not a moral one, meaning a very important one, but it is absolute."

"God has the duty to demand that I be humble, for He has the duty to maintain absolute order. He could not rightly allow me an atom of pride. I will, then, abase myself before Him; I will be submissive and dependent; I will gladly prostrate myself in the deepest adoration, not only in His sanctuary but in private; it is the attitude most suited to me. If I must depart from it in public, I will at least keep in my heart a sense of my unworthiness."

Day Ten: Necessity of Special Graces. These special graces are decisive for humility. Without them, we could not resist certain temptations; without them, if we should fall, we could not rise.
All are subject to this. "St. Philip Neri prayed every morning: 'O my God, do not trust me, hold me and guard me, for without Thee there is no fault that I am not capable of committing before tonight.'"

Perseverance in Good Demands Special Graces. While we can be sure of receiving all the graces we need [if we are in a state of grace], we cannot be sure that we will respond to them. The Council of Trent states: "Man in a state of grace cannot persevere in this state without a special help from God."

A man in a state of grace (possessing supernatural life, with a right to ordinary graces)does not have all he needs in order to attain God, considering his human frailty. This concerns all men; not even a saint has a strict right to these graces. The concern is not with self-perfection here, but with perseverance; not even a strong will can take the place of special grace. It is not a matter of not being able to reach our object with difficulty; it is an impossibility without these special graces.

We must remember these theological truths: "in order to persevere for any considerable time, a special grace is needed; in order to persevere in face of great dangers, a grace of the same kind is needed; a short life is often a special grace; the favorable choice at the moment of death is always a special grace."

A special grace is what saves us when in mortal sin or at our death if a grievous sin is committed; nothing else will aid us except this special grace.

Humility Obtains Special Graces for Perseverance and Salvation. We cannot count on ourselves; we can count on God's mercy. Mercy promises forgiveness, help, grace and love.

"If I am humble, if I behave in all cirucmstances as being unable to do anything of myself; if I am careful not to despise others, and if I pray, I fulfil my law, and God, by keeping His promises, fulfils His. In spite of my wretchedness He loves me, protects me and gives me His grace. What I cannot demand from His justice, I infallibly receive from His mercy."

"Mercy and humlity are correlative terms. Abjectness and humility are both forms of abasement; but abjection is the result of our condition; humility is the effect of our will. Mercy loves the abasement of humility and saves it."

Saints ascribe to humility the gift of perseverance. If we are humble, we remain in the order of universal submission. If humble, we feel the need of God's help. We pray, for through prayer, we obtain what we cannot have or deserve of ourselves. The more we feel these truths, the more we will be inclined to pray.

We must repeat in our prayer, "Lord, lead us not into temptation" and beg the aid of Our Lady, the angels, and the saints. "The grace I now ask for is that of becoming humble. I will never cease to ask, and so that I may obtain it, I will abase myself like the woman of Canaan. I want to be humble, for I want to be saved."